


The Light on the Grey Shore

by Fangirl_on_fire



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, M/M, Marriage, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 00:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14988587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_on_fire/pseuds/Fangirl_on_fire
Summary: He made his voice higher to mock Lance: “Oh, look at me, I have a deadbeat alcoholic for a husband. Please, give me attention!” His voice went back to normal and raised to a yell. “I just want you to leave me the fuck alone!"Lance was stunned. He could feel his heart breaking all over again as he thought of the Keith he had married, the Keith that was now gone. And now the sadness, the heartbreak was fading to leave behind a burning anger. He clenched his fists, hard enough that his nails cut into his skin and he could feel his palms were wet with warm blood.After a few seconds of that terrible silence, Lance spit, “The man I married would beat you up for talking to me like that.”-A lot can change in 6 years.





	The Light on the Grey Shore

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Alcoholism, alcohol abuse. There is no violence, physical injuries, or active self-harm.

**December 2018.**

Cute Bus Guy was staring at him again.

Every single day Keith took the 8:00 bus to his morning class, he always ended up sitting across from the same person, a boy with bright blue eyes who was always leafing through the same booklet until he inevitably ended up distracted by something, whether it was a passing cat on the street or the AC that kept malfunctioning. Or Keith.

For the past few weeks, the boy had been staring at Keith each time they sat across each other. Keith would have found it creepy if he wasn’t staring right back because the boy was _so damn cute._ Not only cute, but also hot, with his sharp jawline and his high cheekbones, and his lips that always seemed to be curved into a smirk, as if he was waiting for Keith to make the first move.

Keith cleared his throat and looked down. He could never hold the boy’s gaze. They had been riding on the same bus since the beginning of the year, and they still hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

Until now. For some reason, the bus was almost completely empty today; it was only them and a mother with a baby on her lap sitting in the far corner.

The boy stood up and walked over to sit next to Keith, turning towards him and giving him a warm smile, a stark contrast from the arrogant smirk he had before.

“Should I try a pick-up line or am I going to be rejected instantly?” His voice sounded familiar.

This wasn’t how Keith imagined their first conversation would start, but he would take it. “It depends on the pick-up line.”

“Are you a black hole? Because your irresistible charm is pulling me in.”

It was so ridiculous that Keith couldn’t help but crack a smile. “That’s terrible.”

“What can I say?” The boy shrugged. “I’m a Garrison nerd. That’s what it does to us.”

Oh. This boy also went to the Garrison. The Garrison was the university Keith went to, well-known for its astrophysics course and its other space-related courses. “You go to the Garrison?”

The boy frowned. “Uh… yeah.” He said it as if it were supposed to be obvious and when Keith didn’t react he threw his arms in the air. “We’re in the same class!”

“I don’t think so,” Keith said doubtfully. He would have remembered someone like him.

“I’m Lance,” the boy said, his eyebrows lifting as his expression turned indignant. “You know, Lance and Keith? Neck and neck? You are Keith, right?”

“Yeah.” Keith racked his brain for anyone in his class named Lance who looked like… oh. Now he remembered Lance. Lance was the boy he had a crush on since he first came to the Garrison, until Lance created an imaginary rivalry between them and Keith pushed his feelings down so they wouldn’t show. But it was appalling that he didn’t recognize him, considering all the hours he had spent staring at him from afar.

“Yeah, I remember you,” Keith said. “Are you still obsessed with that rivalry?”

Lance scowled. Yep, that was definitely him. Lance looked a lot different when he wasn’t in uniform and wasn’t glowering at Keith. “I don’t know – are you still an asshole?”

Two could play at this game. Keith crossed his arms and glaring at Lance. “I never was an asshole.”

“You’re a big asshole, mullet,” Lance said. “And I can’t believe you didn’t recognize me! We’ve been in the same class for three years!”

“You look different when you’re not in uniform,” Keith protested. “Why aren’t you in uniform, anyway?”

“I change at this place near the school because I always end up ruining my uniform if I wear it on the bus, but don’t change the subject.”

Lance thought for a moment, his gaze sliding to the window. Then, he added, “I didn’t come over here to insult you. I actually have something to tell you.”

“Go ahead.”

“I don’t hate you anymore,” Lance said.

Keith snorted. “Anymore?”

“Don’t interrupt,” Lance chided. “We haven’t talked in a really long time and you always avoid me-”

“I don’t avoid you.” Keith flushed red. He hadn’t thought of the fact that Lance would notice that he was avoiding him.

“Yeah, you do. So I did some thinking and concluded that you’re actually not a bad person and you’re really fucking hot, so instead of getting you kicked out of the Garrison I’d rather take you out on a date.”

After the short speech, Lance looked down at the ground and braced himself, as if preparing himself for a harsh let-down. Keith was left speechless. Lance, Lance McClain, who always called Keith his arch-enemy and insulted him each time they talked, liked him?!

He must be dreaming.

Lance was still waiting for an answer, fidgeting nervously, so Keith said, “I would like that.”

He looked up. “What?”

“We can go on a date,” Keith said. He smiled. “I don’t hate you, either.”

“Oh, great!” Lance beamed. “That’s great.”

As they exchanged numbers and continued chatting for the rest of the bus ride, Keith thought of how strange it was that he was going out with Lance. When two temperamental, argumentative people like him and Lance got together, it meant that the relationship could end a charred, destroyed wreck and they would hate each other even more than they did before.

But it could also _not_ end, and Keith would finally be together with the boy he had always longed for.

So he was willing to take the risk.

-

**April 2020.**

“Listen, Keith,” Lance began. “I’ve been thinking.”

Keith glanced up from the book he was reading. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Very funny,” Lance said, sarcastic. “I’m serious.”

That couldn’t be good. Keith put the book down and turned his body towards Lance, pulling his legs up on the couch to sit cross-legged. “What is it?”

“We’ve been together a while, right?”

“Right,” Keith said slowly. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach. “You’re not… breaking up with me?”

Lance’s eyes widened and he straightened up. “Of course not! It’s the exact opposite. Well, not the exact opposite. I was asking you to move in with me.”

Now it was Keith’s turn to be surprised, but he didn’t hesitate before saying, “Yeah, definitely. Let’s do it.”

Lance moved closer to him on the cough to throw his arms around him, hugging him. “That’s brilliant, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Keith said, breaking the hug to kiss him, winding Lance’s hair around his fingers and tugging lightly as he deepened the kiss and Lance’s hands moved down to settle at his waist. Just over a year ago he never would have imagined he would be here right now, but he was so happy that he was because Lance was the sweetest, funniest, wittiest person Keith had ever met and now he couldn’t imagine a life without him.

-

**December 2021.**

The lights were turned off and the only illumination came from the orange candles Keith had lit. The table had a dark red tablecloth thrown over it and two china plates were set there with a large bottle of champagne. However, the table and the rapidly cooling food in the kitchen was abandoned.

Lance was on the couch and Keith was straddling him, bowing his head to plant a kiss on Lance’s forehead, then his cheeks, slowly working his way over to press their lips together.

Lance sighed against his mouth. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Keith whispered, his hands sliding down to Lance’s collarbone, lightly running his fingers over it and enjoying the feeling of Lance shivering beneath him.

It was their three-year anniversary and they decided to celebrate it at home, with only the two of them. Keith had been trying to think of something perfect that would show Lance just how much he loved him, but he couldn’t think of a good enough gesture and the day had come without Keith planning anything. However, Lance wasn’t expecting anything other than getting to spend the day with him. _That only makes me feel guiltier._

Lance pulled back to frown at him. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Keith murmured.

Lance shifted himself so he was now at the same level as Keith. “You can tell me.”

“I wanted to do something special for you,” Keith confessed, making Lance still. “But I couldn’t think of anything.”

To Keith’s surprise, Lance smiled. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Why?”

Lance motioned for Keith to get off him so Keith stood up and allowed Lance to get up as well. “Because I already had something planned.”

Lance knelt down so he was on one knee, and stuck his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small black box. Keith gasped and Lance grinned up at him.

“Keith. It took me a while to think of the words to express how I feel about you and I thought of describing just how much I hated you when we first met at the Garrison, but I figured that wasn’t very romantic so instead I decided that our story started when we first talked to each other on the bus. For months I told myself to go over and talk to you but I was too scared because you had been ignoring me and I was scared that you now hated me, that I messed up and ruined any chance of us having a relationship.

“But eventually I got the courage to talk to you and I’m so glad I did because you have made me happier than anything else in my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you that happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you and I-”

Keith didn’t let him finish, already dropping to his knees to cup Lance’s face in his hands and kiss him, feeling the warmth of his lips against his and his arms around him, the taste of Lance on his lips and the smell of the candles surrounding them, like vanilla sugar and cinnamon.

“You didn’t even let me ask,” Lance murmured with a quiet laugh, his glistening eyes crinkling with happiness.

“I love you so much.” And Keith was crying, tears rolling down his cheeks, but he was also laughing and he broke the kiss to hug Lance, taking a deep breath and burying his face in Lance’s shoulder. “Yes.”

Lance gave him a sheepish smile. “I forgot to hold up the ring.” He opened the box and showed it to Keith. Inside was a delicate ring with three carefully-cut rubies in the center of it. “I remember you said you liked red, so-”

“It’s perfect.”

Keith smiled, the corners of his eyes still wet, as Lance slid the ring onto his finger.

-

**January 2022.**

Keith slammed the piece of paper down on the table, a little harder than he intended. He sat down and put his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. His fingernails dug into his scalp and he pulled his own hair, hard. A few strands of his hair came out so he stopped pulling and just kept breathing.

Lance walked out of the kitchen, a concerned look on his face. “What is it, baby?”

“We don’t have enough money for the wedding.”

Lance pulled out a chair to sit beside Keith. “What do you mean?”

“Weddings are really expensive,” Keith said. “And I found out today that I have less savings than I thought. _We_ have less savings. We don’t have enough.”

Though he knew they weren’t with each other for a fancy wedding, it was still a hard blow.

“Oh. I… I see. And we…” Lance seemed to be in shock. “That’s fine. That’s… that’s fine.”

Keith shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lance. You deserve better than me.”

“No,” Lance said instantly. “Don’t get into this again. I love you and I’m staying with you, no matter what. I don’t want an expensive fairytale wedding. I just want you.”

Though Lance was looking at him with his familiar look of adoration and love, Keith couldn’t muster a smile.

He was right. Lance deserved better.

-

**March 2022.**

They were both silent as they signed the papers, and as soon as the signatures were on the papers Keith dropped the pen and picked Lance up to spin him around before kissing him hard, pushing all his feelings of love and happiness into it.

“I love you,” Lance said, a brilliant smile lighting up his face.

Keith couldn’t keep a matching smile off his own face. “I love you too.”

-

**July 2023.**

Lance stomped into the room, holding up an empty bottle. He was furious, his mouth twisted and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “What is this?”

After a moment, Keith looked up, his eyes taking a few seconds to register the sight in front of him. It took him another few seconds to reply, “I don’t like water.”

“That’s not relevant.” Lance was still glowering at him. “You promised you would stop.”

“It was only a glass.”

“You losing your job isn’t important enough to kill yourself over.”

“I’m not killing myself. Don’t overreact.”

Lance drew a sharp breath. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m your husband, not your maid.”

“Fine.” Keith sighed. “Look, I’m sorry.” He hesitated.

Lance’s expression softened. “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

Keith swallowed hard and looked down at the ground. He didn’t tell Lance yet because he couldn’t bear the thought of being pitied, but he had to tell him now. “My… my brother. It’s my brother.” He took a deep breath and forced the words out. “He’s dead. He got in an accident.”  

Lance dropped the bottle as his hands flew to his mouth and it shattered on the ground. Several shards landed on his legs, cutting into the soft flesh, but he didn’t notice. “That’s terrible! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I didn’t want pity,” Keith said shortly.

But when Lance crossed the room to draw him into his arms, kissing his forehead and murmuring that it would all be alright, Keith wished he had told Lance earlier. It wasn’t fair, what he was doing to Lance. He could tell how Lance was suffering watching Keith deteriorate, and he had to stop this. He and Lance were a team, and they would go through everything together.

He could stop. For Lance.

-

**August 2023.**

He couldn’t stop.

His mother was dead and he was falling, falling, falling and he had to do something, he had to do something that would take away the pain of being called in to identify a body that wasn’t his mother’s, that wasn’t his mother, it couldn’t be her.

It couldn’t be her and it wasn’t her so why was he so upset? He was making a big deal out of nothing. He would go call his mom and tell her about this nightmare he had and she would smile and tell him it was just a nightmare and then he would be alright again.

Numbly, his fingers dialed her phone number.

Her voice sounded over the voicemail and it hit him then, hit him like a building crashing down on top of his head and a train powering through the wreckage he was buried beneath.

She was gone. She was gone, gone, gone, _gone-_

A hand was on his shoulder. “Keith, darling. I’m here.”

Without thinking, he lifted his hand to place it on Lance’s.

Lance squeezed his hand gently. “I’m here for you.”

“I want to be alone.”

“No, you don’t. I’m staying here.”

“You deserve better.” Keith’s chest was hollow. He was empty, and all he could think about was how he needed to save Lance. He needed to make Lance go away and find someone better before Keith turned even worse and Lance would be the one that would have to sweep up the broken pieces that he left behind.

“I won’t leave you. I’ll never leave you.”

And the memory of his mom saying that rung through his head, and the tears started falling.

-

**November 2023.**

When Lance walked in the room, the first thing he thought was that someone had broken in.

There were broken bottles all over the bathroom, shattered and destroyed all over the floor, lying in puddles that spread over the carpet like slow-moving glaciers. Keith was in the bathtub, his head propped against the wall. He was mumbling under his breath and his eyelids were half-shut. He had a half-empty bottle in his hand and he lifted it to take another drink. His lips were cracked and bleeding.

Lance jumped forward to snatch the bottle out of his hand and pour its contents out into the sink. Keith was too drunk to notice. He was in that far-off place where he didn’t notice anything anymore except his fingers reaching out for another bottle that wasn’t there. Lance scanned Keith’s body for any injuries but there were none. But he was too horrified to be grateful about that.

Carefully, he lifted Keith’s now unconscious body out of the bathtub and carried him to their bedroom, putting him down on the bed and curling up beside him.

All he could think about was the smirking, sarcastic person Keith had been when the first met, the boy that set his heart on fire with his dry jokes and his adorable laugh that he laughed whenever Lance used a stupid pick-up line or said a dumb joke he had come up with on the spot.

But this man… this wasn’t the boy Lance married. This was a stranger.

Dimly, Lance thought, _I want my husband back._

-

**December 2023.**

“Happy anniversary, darling,” Lance said, managing a watery smile and propping himself up on his elbow to gaze at Keith.

Keith didn’t react, staring at the ceiling. He wanted to say it back, but his mouth refused to form the words. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything except lay here and stare at the ceiling, trapped in this ruined body that wasn’t his anymore. Slowly, his lips parted and he whispered, “Lance.”

It was the first word he had spoken in more than a week.

But Lance was past getting excited over these small victories. Quietly, he stood up to get ready for work. He had convinced his boss to shorten his work hours temporarily so he could take care of Keith, but his boss was getting impatient and Keith wasn’t getting better.

“I love you,” he said as he went out the door, knowing Keith wouldn’t say it back. Though Keith hadn’t said those three words to him in more than a month, it still sent a pang of pain through his heart each time.

As the door slammed shut, Keith whispered, “I love you.”

-

**January 2024.**

“You need to see a therapist,” Lance said.

Keith shrugged. It was one of his good days, where he was feeling good enough to function like a normal human being.

“I found a good clinic.” Lance pulled out a piece of paper and inspected it carefully. “It’s on seventy-fourth street. I’ll take you there.”

“I’m not going,” Keith said.

“Yes, you are.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Lance was done playing the kind, concerned husband. He slammed his hands down on the table and yelled, “You are going! Can’t you see what you’ve become? You’re… you’re not even human! Just go! Just listen to me for once and go see the damn therapist!”

Keith froze as Lance broke down in front of him. He was powerless to help, to do anything beside watch and know that he was the one who did this to Lance.

Once he had calmed down and wiped away his tears, Lance said, “You owe me that.”

-

**February 2024.**

When they first moved into this new, bigger house Lance was thrilled and loved it, but now each time he entered it he wondered if he would find Keith hung-over in the upstairs bathroom again, or hiding another stash of whisky in the basement.

He was sitting on the sofa when Keith walked in, his head low. He turned his tired, lifeless eyes on Keith and asked, “How did it go this time?”

It was Keith’s fourth session with his therapist.

“It went alright.”

Lance decided not to press. “Okay. Are you feeling better?”

“I’m alright.”

It was also Keith’s fourth week without drinking. Without drinking where Lance could see, anyway. But Lance hoped more than anything that Keith wasn’t hiding that from him because he couldn’t stand another year living like this. His worry for Keith was killing him. “You didn’t drink today, did you?”

Keith exploded. “You never trust me! First you nag me about what I should do and what I shouldn’t do, and now you don’t even trust me when I promise I won’t do it anymore? Sometimes I think you’re the one secretly manipulating me to ruin myself so people will sympathize with you.”

He made his voice higher to mock Lance: “Oh, look at me, I have a deadbeat alcoholic for a husband. Please, give me attention!” His voice went back to normal and raised to a yell. “Leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Lance was stunned.

For more than a year he did everything he could to help Keith. He slaved after him, he never made him do any chores or even make dinner, he was as loving and kind as he could be, and… and Keith still treated him like this.

He couldn’t believe Keith would say that to him. He could feel his heart breaking all over again as he thought of the Keith he had married, the Keith that was now gone. And now the sadness, the heartbreak was fading to leave behind a burning anger. He clenched his fists, hard enough that his nails cut into his skin and he could feel his palms were wet with warm blood.

After a few seconds of that terrible silence, Lance spit, “The man I married would beat you up for talking to me like that.”

More silence.

Lance’s anger was gone as quickly as it had flared and he felt the pain wash back into him like dark waves against a grey shore.

Slowly, Keith realized what he had done and his expression turned horrified. “Lance, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I- I’m so sorry, please forgive me-”

Lance held up a shaking finger. “Stop.”

Keith stopped.

Lance took a deep breath. He never thought he would say this. “I… I’m leaving you.”

Keith’s mind couldn’t comprehend it. It took him more than a minute to realize what Lance was saying, and Lance waited in silence as the awful truth dawned on him.

“You…” Keith trailed off, speechless.

Lance was leaving him. Beautiful, smart, funny Lance, who stayed up all night watching ‘Die Hard’ five times in a row with him and challenged him to a bike race where he broke his leg trying to beat Keith and showed him what true happiness was. What true love was.

And Lance had promised to always be there for him, but Keith treated him like dirt. Keith didn’t appreciate him and though he never physically hurt him he hurt his feelings countless times. He was still doing it and he felt his world collapse around him at the thought of how badly he had treated Lance, who still stayed with him through all of it.

Lance was trembling but he still didn’t say anything.

“Please don’t go,” Keith whispered.

“I have to,” Lance said. He wanted to close his eyes but they were frozen open, glued on the man in front of him whom he had loved so much. This wasn’t that man. “You’re not the man I married.”

“I can be. Please, Lance. I love you.”

“I know you do.” Lance’s voice was also trembling, scratchy. His eyes were moist but he held in his tears. “But I can’t live like this. I can’t _live_ like this.”

“I’m so sorry. Please don’t go.”

“Goodbye, Keith.”

Before he could stop himself, Lance leaned down to kiss Keith. For the first time in a long time, he tasted like himself and not alcohol, and the feeling of his fingertips on Keith’s face was familiar. He wanted to hold onto this. Keith kissed him back, desperate, silently begging Lance to stay.

“I love you,” Lance choked out. “Always.”

And then he was leaving and Keith was left alone in the house they were so excited to build a life in together.

-

**December 2024.**

Cute Bus Guy was staring at him again.

Lance was on the bus, sitting across from Keith and staring at him like he was trying to remember who he was.

It had been several months since Lance left and Keith was finally alright again. He didn’t drink anymore and he didn’t feel the need to, and now he knew how to cope. He had countless sessions with countless therapists and it was a long, hard journey, but he was finally out of that pitch black tunnel and back in the sunshine. He was back to his old self, but not completely because the most important thing in his life was missing and he wasn’t complete anymore. He never thought he would see Lance again, but running into him on the bus… Now Keith could finally fix the mess he had made.

And this time, it was Keith’s turn to make the first move.

With a deep breath, he stood up and went over to sit next to Lance. “Should I try a pick-up line or am I going to be rejected instantly?”

Lance smiled, a real, genuine smile that Keith hadn’t seen on his face in a long while. “It depends on the pick-up line.”

“I never was as good at it as you are,” Keith said, smiling too.

Lance tilted his head in confusion. “Sorry, do I know you? I don’t recognize you.”

Then they both burst out laughing.

When their laughter died down, Keith said, “I’m a screw-up.”

“You are,” Lance agreed.

“But I’m your screw-up.” Keith paused. “If you still want me to be.”

Lance let out the breath he had been holding and moved closer into Keith’s side, resting his head on his shoulder. “I still want you to be.”

As they chatted for the rest of the bus ride, laughing and talking together as if they were two teenagers back in 2018 falling in love for the first time, Keith thought of how he was right that their relationship would crash and burn.

But they were building it again, brick by brick, and he knew they would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Another happy ending, because I can't handle writing angsty endings!


End file.
